Parenting

Screaming Toddler Tantrums – How To Stop Them And Not Give In

Is it that time? Have you reached that age yet where your toddler goes bonkers whenever they don’t get their way? I’m guessing so if you’re reading this post. So, how do you deal with screaming toddler tantrums? Simple, don’t give in, and walk away.

I know this may seem unorthodox if you are out shopping or in public, and I don’t expect you to walk away from your child in the middle of a supermarket, but this is where control comes in. I always keep my toddler either in the shopping carriage or in his stroller. If he wants to cry, that is fine but I will not condone that behavior.

Toddlers Are Smart

By the age of at least 18 months, you will know the difference between a “hurt cry” and a “not getting my way cry”. If your toddler is really hurt please, do console them, but if they are screaming because they’re not getting their way, let them be.

When my son throws himself on the living room floor and starts rolling around screaming because I didn’t give him what he wanted I simply say “okay, come see mommy when you’re done” and I walk away. Within seconds of him realizing that he’s not getting my attention, he stops screaming, gets up off the floor, and goes back to playing with his toys.

This step is imperative. Toddlers are smarter than we give them credit for, so if you decide to give in to your toddlers’ tantrums they will catch on and that will be their go-to response whenever they can’t get their way.

I understand how hard it is when you are busy and you just need them to be quiet. It’s easier to give them what they want because then you have quiet and you can go back to doing what you were doing. But believe me when I tell you, this is not the road you want to go down.

You Are In Control

As your toddler gets older and wiser, the tantrums will get louder and worse, and even more so, when they start saying actual sentences. You don’t want this, so nip it in the bud now. If you show your toddler that you are in control then they will have no choice but to obey you as their parent and they will grow up with the mentality that tantrums will never get them what they want, but rational thought and speaking will.

Although my toddler is at a young age, (19 months) there are times that he cries and I know he needs something from me but instead of trying to talk he will cry instead, I tell him to use his words. He knows what this means because I say it to him often and when I do give him what he wants I tell him how to say it so that he can voice himself the next time.

They Can Do It

Jayden now knows, if he wants a bottle, he can say “can I have a baba please” if he wants to watch SpongeBob on television, he can say “Mommy, SpongeBob”. I am teaching him valuable tools that he can use later on instead of giving in to his crying and stunting his manners. He may not be able to form complete sentences, but this is part of what starts that.

You may think your toddler can’t do that or he won’t, or he’s not old enough yet, but don’t underestimate him. Like I said before, they are smarter than we give them credit for. When my sisters’ daughter was the age of Jayden I would tell her the same thing. I’ve seen it before, but she refused to listen. Now, her daughter is three and takes tantrums when something is not her way.

It may seem like a lot of work now, but it will pay off when they are a little older. You will be glad you took the time to instill these values in your toddler when you’re out in public and they are obedient.

Don’t Give In

Have you ever gone to the store and as you are strolling the aisles you hear a screaming kid and wonder how their parent puts up with it? I have. I look down at my toddler quiet and content and listen to the other parent barter with their child trying to get them to be quiet and it’s embarrassing. You can literally see the look of distress on their face as they try so desperately to get their child to be quiet.

Don’t be that mom. Never negotiate with your child. You are giving them the option to be well mannered and obedient and when they don’t want to, they won’t. This process may be upsetting, but not for long. The earlier you adopt the habit of not giving in to your screaming toddler, the sooner they will catch on. But when it’s too late, well, it’s too late.

Don’t get me wrong, this will not eliminate every tantrum your child will have. There will be a few definitely, but this will at least help with cutting back on the number of tantrums your child will have. I think the most important thing is figuring out why your toddler is taking tantrums, to begin with. But as I mentioned before, teaching them early on to voice their troubles instead of crying could go a long way.

Just remember, no matter what, don’t give in to a tantrum! Stick to your guns. Giving in to your toddlers’ tantrums only teaches them that it’s okay behavior and they can use it to get their way every time.

Looking for books that could help you with your toddler tantrums? Take a look at these and if interested, they can be purchased from Amazon through my site. Your purchase is what keeps this site up and running.

Toddler Discipline For Every Age And Stage – Aubrey Hargis

The Tantrum Survival Guide – Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD

You may also find these children’s books of interest when trying to relate to your toddler on the topic. 

Are you struggling with toddler tantrums? 

Looking for more help? Check out these tips from The Mayo Clinic.

Do you want to share your experience? If so, please leave a comment below. Other moms could benefit from your understanding of this topic.

Thanks for reading my latest post.

Want To Spend Time Reading Those Toddler Books With Your Little One?

Check out this post on The Importance of Reading to Toddlers.

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